The voice inside our head amplifies the voices outside our head.
If we hear negative things, the default is to get more negative thoughts out.
If we hear positive things, we may have an outsized view of our abilities.
And if we keep focusing on one or the other, it’s unlikely to change.
And if it doesn’t change, we’re likely to keep focusing on it.
HOW DO WE WORK THROUGH IT?
We need to reframe it.
Are the comments about the work, or the person?
Is it from someone you trust? Or from an invisible critic?
Are they valid?
How about credible?
Understand that negative tends to outweigh positive in our minds.
Recognize that we’re not going to get it right every time.
And know that the work might just not be for them after all.
Be clear on what you value.
Focus on the improvement you’ve already made.
Figure out if it’s worth addressing. If so, look for small changes with which to start.
The goal is an accurate understanding of who we are and how we interact with the people around us.
Not weighed down by untrue negative voices, and not unduly boosted by a yes-person.